Regardless of your internal turmoil surrounding the reveal of your LGBTQer, you can always choose your external reaction to that precious reveal moment. The way you choose to react will impact your LGBTQ+er in more ways than you can imagine. I made list of some important things to consider before you react. I also strongly suggest you read my other article: Your Transitioning WITH your LGBTQ+er.

1 A moment of LOVE. Regardless of your stance on the LGBTQ+ frontier, it its important for you to remember that this moment is extremely important to your child and that he/she might be feeling very vulnerable, probably scared and anxious about coming out to you. Your support and approval can make all the difference for your child and set him/her up for revealing to others.

2 It’s okay to NOT be ready. It is NOT okay to hurt, question or deny your child their LGBTQ-status. But you are not expected to be instantly warmed up to the idea and ready to go out celebrating with your son wearing a dress tonight either. It often takes some adjusting on both your parts. Talk about the things that are new to you. Ask a lot of questions, so you can better understand all this new vibe that probably feels unreal to you and take your time to come to terms with the changes.

3 Remember your VALUES. So many times I have spoken to parents who include Support as one of their main family values, but when their child comes out, they suddenly ‘forget’ to support their child. The home/family is where a child should feel free to express and explore. Ideally, you as the parent should be the one to support your LGBTQ+ son or daughter through this often confusing and complicated period. They are counting on you! If you are not supportive, where do you hope your child will turn for support and guidance?

4 Learn and Grow. There are so many websites, articles, social channels where you can learn more about the LGBTQ spectrum and the struggles your teen may come across that are unique to the LGBTQ status. Many of these resources focus on the parents too. Open yourself up to learning so you can be the parent your child needs.

5 Practice The Art of Not Giving a F*ck. Sometimes people will say and do things that hurt you or your child. You can’t deny the pain words and disapproval of others cause. But you know what? You CAN choose how much attention you give to it. Not repeating the stories of pain, not giving the people hurting you your attention, not focusing on THEIR ignorance on the topic or on THEIR set of beliefs that they willingly choose to live THEIR lives with, will empower you. Why should you give a fart about people’s opinion when their opinion is pushing you in a box where you feel limited, robbed of your freedom?

Final – but important – note 😉 If you are still struggling with this, why not take action steps to find your way with this? Don’t settle for a life that diminishes your spark. Work on that amazing inner glow.